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There are many people who just don't feel happy. They spend the majority of their day thinking about what has happened to them, how badly some one has hurt them, and focus on what they don't have. And, because of their up bringing, they are unequipped to deal with the ups and downs of everyday life and feel helpless to change their current situation and life circumstances. However, once they understand where self-hatred comes from and who is more prone to suffer from it, they can begin to feel better and live more quality lives.
What causes self-hatred?
Some people who hate themselves have come from homes in which one or both parents neglected them or abandoned them completely. Also, they may have been verbally, physically, and mentally abused by their parents or some one else they care about. Because of their age, they were unable to make another decision about why they were being mistreated other than they deserved it. Another reason some people hate themselves is because they have been brainwashed by their family, friends, peers, and the media into believing they have to look, think, and behave in a certain way in order to be accepted. As a result, they may end up hating themselves for who they have become.
Characteristics of people who hate themselves:
They may be conceited. At first glance it may not be obvious that this person hate themselves. For these people can appear to be full of self-confidence by dressing well and having great posture. They may brag incessantly about who they think they are and what they have. However, it doesn't make up for the hateful emotions they feel within.
They may be unassertive. These people attract people into their live who only reinforce what they feel about themselves. Their friends and coworkers constantly put them down and take advantage of them. People who hate themselves will allow other people to talk them out of pursuing the things they want and need---which is not hard because they already believe they are unworthy.
They may have low self-esteem. They may argue with you, but people who hate themselves get into the habit of settling for less. At their disposal, they will have several explanations for why they make certain decisions. But, the truth is they don't believe they deserve better. For example, a woman who discovers her husband is cheating on her continues to see him even after he has left her for the other woman. Or, this person may pay full price for a product that they know is defective or a service that is inferior without complaining or asking for a refund.
They may be irresponsible. At some time in the future, usually after it is too late, a person who hates themselves will become angry with the people they believe have hurt them or mistreated them. And, they may seek to get revenge. But the problem with their revenge is that it may not be anyone else's fault that they are suffering and they may get revenge on them in return. In the end, they still didn't get what they wanted or needed and only feel even worse. They don't want to accept responsibility for their own actions and may have secretly known they were fighting a losing battle.
How to free yourself from self-hatred
People who hate themselves will begin to feel and live better lives by choosing to believe that they are lovable, worthy, and caring people. They should forgive themselves for allowing themselves to be mistreated and the people who mistreated them for doing so. It will help them to know that the people who hurt them didn't mean to cause them pain and may have been hurting just as badly. While nothing can make up for the suffering they have endured, as an adult they responsible for their own emotional state and lives.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cheryl_T.
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